Dakota Skye (2008)

Dakota Skye (2008) is a film about some stupid girl with a crush on a cute stoner boy named Jonah "Ian" Goldberg. He is a beautiful man with eyes you can just get lost in. She gets lost in his eyes, coincidentally. This stupid girl, who goes by Dakota (the place where she was conceived), is only medium cute. Thank G-d. I hate considerably cute girls. Anything more than medium is just unnecessary. Am I right guys??

Unfortunately, she is also with a man of many hairstyles. His name is Kevin? He is the only man who doesn't make her puke. Clearly she hasn't met me. I am quite unrepulsive. Anyways, she has to chose between these two stallions. This is easy, because she has a "super"power. She is able to see when others are lying, especially about Christopher Columbus, international jerk.

She can therefore see if Jonah quit the band or not, which is important. Don't want to give away any spoilers, but he did. Good for him. They were awful.

If you liked the film Garden State, you will be delighted that this film continues the story into a new "state." This state is Arizona, the Wal-Mart state. Jonah and Dakota drive off romantically to the Grand Canyon, the most romantic rock formation. They peer into an abyss and contemplate falling, face down or ass up.

Jonah is the Zach Braff of this film, and Dakota is like Natalie Portman, except unlikeable in every way, and not Jewish.

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I have watched this film several times and each time I am moved, literally. Off my couch. I wish to take a trip to Arizona, which looks delightful. It may help me discover myself with the help of a sarcastic high-schooler, though that may be illegal in this country. Regardless, I think this film is great. The "skye"'s the limit for this masterpiece, and you don't need to be in "Dakota" to watch it. It is available in the other 48 states, thankfully.



I wanna tell you that I like this movie, and I will. "Five Stars."