7 Mummies (2006)

7 Mummies (2006) is a movie about escaped convicts on the search for treasure! They find this treasure, buried deep in the Arizona desert, surrounded by mummies. What follows is an exciting tale of love, mummies, and betrayal.

This movie stars Noreaga, Danny Trejo, and the guy from Torque. You may know Noreaga from his raps, which are quite excellent, as is his acting, in this film.

Often, movies just have one mummy. This one had at least three, from what I could garner. Not only were they mummies, but they were martial arts mummies of the Jesuit persuasion. What a "five star" idea! It really adds a level of depth usually unseen in other mummy films, such as The Mummy (1999) starring Brendan "I hate mummies" Fraser.

Enough about mummies, let's talk about ghouls, baby! There are a lot of ghouls to be had, often in Old West-style outfits and Cradle of Filth-style makeup. Willie Nelson is briefly in this movie, or he is a relative of Willie Nelson (they look a lot alike!).

These four or so convicts are on the hunt for treasure. They develop a special bond with each other that may only be described as "touching." A woman is present and she falls in love with the lead convict, and who can blame her? He's gorgeous.

Danny Trejo pulls off another stunning performance. In this film, he foreshadows about the danger that will come to the convicts if they search for the treasure. Then he continues to laugh menacingly for several minutes. I really felt the emotion in his laugh. It made me think that the convicts were in for a bad surprise!



All of the action sequences were "five stars." I especially enjoyed how the sound stopped working briefly during the main action sequence. It really forced you to focus on the action at hand, and it was action-packed.

And talk about the music! It was like DJ Muggs and the rock band Saliva were just chilling one day, and decided to come together, to score a film. 7 Mummies was the film they scored!

Expect a lot of rapping, and guitar metal. It really heightens up the action, especially the last scene, which is a race between a motorcycle and a mummy on the horse. Who wins? You have to watch the movie to find out!

I like to keep my reviews (and my movies) PG-13, but I gotta say, the sex scenes were titillating! You can guess why, it has something to do with a certain female. But I won't ruin the scene for you. Just know, boys, you are in for a treat!

The film starts with two guys grunting and dragging a coffin, and ends the same way! Lets just say, I was grunting with satisfaction when the movie ended. Drag yourself to the movie store and rent this right away! You will not be dissapointed. 7 Mummies: "Five Stars!"