FarCry (2008)

Far Cry is a "far cry" from a bad movie. It is a terrific movie. Uwe Boll delivers all the goods: action, steamy sexual encounters, emotional Germans! Everything you can ask for, in one muscular package.

The film begins with whale watching. Anyone who's been whale watching before, knows that it's a pain in the neck! You never see any whales! Neither did the couple, and I don't blame their frustration. If you pay to see whales, you should see them!

Anyways, the excitement doesn't stop there. You see, Jack "Carver" (if that is his real name) is not only a whale-watching tour guide, but he is also an ex-Special Forces agent who spends most of his time drinking in a boat. However he is not a drunk. This is an important distinction made in the movie.

Imagine his surprise when he finds himself on an island surrounded by unstoppable super-soldiers! It's quite a departure from the usual whales, but he's a "Jack" of all trades.

These super-soldiers are really just modified Germans, able to deflect bullets and run as fast as said bullets. They are also swole and bald. They are an army of Billy Corgans, except swole.



Anyways, it's up to Jack and his soulmate Valerie (played by Emanuelle Vaugier -- remember her??) to stop an evil scientist from painting his emotions. There is also the "food guy," played by Tom Arnold's little brother Chris "Arnold" Coppola. He is quite the sidekick! Sometimes this movie got too intense and I needed some comic relief. Coppola went above and beyond my expectations! He gets "five" gold stars from me.

Far Cry is a Uwe Boll film, so you know what to expect. First off, great cinematography. I love Uwe's passion for nature and people traversing nature. There were many shots of the Canadian countryside that just left me in "uwe" (awe)! I made a mental note to visit there one day! It looks like a great place.

Second, there's action, almost in every scene. Some scenes were so action-packed that I was looking for the one frame there was no action. It was like looking for a needle in a stack of other needles, and the needles were action. You're gonna wanna plug in your rumble packs for this one, boys!
Third, this really gives you the bang for your buck! Not only is the film great, it goes on forever! And what's better than a great film that doesn't end? Literally nothing. Uwe Boll knows to deliver a great value for a fair price. He's like the Arby's of the movie world. Yum!

This is an excellent example of my favorite genre of films, those based on video games (can you say "Boll-ywood"?). I don't actually play video games, but I enjoy their stories! And what better way to tell a story than through the medium of film?

Uwe Boll gets "five stars" from me. This film is among his best work, and that's saying a lot of the man who brought you Bloodrayne II: The Return of Bloodrayne. I think his movies just keep getting better (like a fine wine, as I've heard), and I look forward to his future adaptations of games I haven't heard of.

I swear, I will "cry" if you don't see this un-"far"-gettable movie. "Five Stars!"