Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991)

Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991) is a film about redemption. It stars everyone's favorite Swede, Dolph Lundgren. You may remember him from the band ABBA. It also stars Brandon Lee, everyone's favorite son of Bruce Lee. It also stars many Asians, who are subsequently killed.

Lee and Dolph are an unlikely duo. Dolph is a statuesque Swede fluent in Japanese and Lee is a total moron. Thankfully this works out somehow. Especially since they take on the entire Yakuza, who are dangerous cretins. They also enjoy taking baths together and watching Tia Carerre sing.

But back to the plot. You see, the Yakuza have "manufactured" a "drug" called "ice." This is worse than crack, according to a black lady. And if it reaches the US (which it has), it will be a pandemic (which it's not.... yet). Also the leader of the Yakuza killed Dolph's parents, and is Shang-Tsung from Mortal Kombat (199?). He wears flowery shirts and has a passion for ritual rape and decapitation. He is a complex man.

A lot of this movie involves Dolph ripping open shirts of other men. This left me satisfied, because there were too many shirts left buttoned. He is also nude in one scene, thankfully.

Similarly, Lee and Dolph whack on each other throughout the film. I'll leave this open to interpretation.

In terms of women, there are some. One of them is the aforementioned Tia Carrera, who is a singer. Even though she holds a huge shotgun, she kills no one in the film. Dolph is around to do the killing. He is the modern-day Pol Pot -- he killed so many Asians. Wow! "Five Stars."


As a disclaimer, I have many Asian friends. They have taught me their dragon ways, and I respect the culture. However, in terms of the Yakuza -- I have no sympathy.

What else is there to say about the plot? Lots, but I will skip it in favor of talking about Dolph's penis. It is gigantic, according to Brandon Lee. This is literally a line in the film. This left me satisfied, because I was extremely curious about Dolph Lundgren's girth.



To improve on the already multicultural element of the film (Japan meets Sweden!), there are black and Hispanic gangbangers too, as well as white trash bikers -- reminding us that criminal activity can bridge the racial divide and bring us together.

The action scenes are "five stars." The abundant nudity is "five stars." Decapitation is "five stars." But the most "five star" part of this film is the lessions it taught us.
1) Japanese people are very dangerous.
2) We must value people's sexual choices, especially that of Brandon "The Crow" Lee.
3) Diversity is an important part of a globalizing, multicultural world. If we learn to understand other people's differences, we may find ourselves appreciating and loving our own culture more! For example, I have converted my own house into a dojo, thanks to this film. It taught me a lot about the value of paper walls.



For these reasons and more, I am compelled to give Showdown in Little Tokyo a resounding "Five Stars." As they say in the land of the Japanese, "Bonzai!"