Zombie Wars (2006)

Zombie Wars aka War of the Living Dead aka Z-Wars is a "five star" movie. As the title suggests, this film chronicles a war between Maoist revolutionaries and slow-moving zombies. In other zombie movies, the ghouls are often terrifying and capable. Not in this film! Here these "z's" are sitting ducks, except instead of ducks, they're zombies.

Despite this, the ghouls get the upper hand and set up a work camp for breeding hipsters. When the hipsters mature, they get eaten. But a certain group of ragtag revolutionaries want to put a stop to this organic farming. Thankfully, nothing stands in their way.

First, a word on the camps. Humans are kept in unlocked cages and fed carrots by twenty gentle zombies. As a result, they grow lean and tender. Yum yum, a zombie might say!



On the other end of the meadow is the revolutionary camp, filled with determined bros seeking to liberate the slaves from z'oppression (zombie oppression). Two bros are literally brothers, while others are just douchebags with eyebrow piercings and mohawks.

One bro enters the work camp and creates chaos. He befriends a creepy weirdo who creepily helps him escape. This man should be awarded the Oscar for creepiness. I was blown away by how unlikable he was in every scene!

Many inept zombies are killed in the process, including the mom and dad of some guy in a cabin. He organizes fancy dinner parties with old people and secretly funds the zombie work camp, which in turn provides him with vegetables for his dinner parties. This is like the Iran-Contra of the zombie world.

The plot wasn't the only "five star" thing about this movie. Zombie beheadings were numerous and satisfying in nature. The scene wipes were memorable triangles with "whoosh" noises that really made you feel like you were watching a movie. I like that!

All in all this was a pretty fantastic movie. I recognized many indie folk stars in the cast, as well as assorted other hipsters I know (I'm a pretty cool guy!). Richard D. James makes a surprise appearance as the creepy creepster who sucks. There is some nice eye candy in this movie, mostly in the form of females. I enjoyed the way guns were used, which was liberally.



I really can't say a whole lot about this movie. It's just one of those things you have to experience for yourself. You'll be dead to me if you don't watch this movie, whoever you are. Z-Wars is z'outrageous! "Five Stars."